Pregnant "Barbie"

So I was strolling along the Silk Market minding my mental shopping list when lo and behold, there she was in her hot pink polyester dress, barefoot no less, with a noticeable belly bump. I breathlessly asked the seller lady (who must have thought me a retard), "Is that doll really pregnant?" (Yes, I said those exact words.)

The seller lady, sensing a freshly minted sucker, humored me by placing the Happily Family box into my hands. She pointed to the picture on the bottom corner--the one where Fake Barbie's belly was popped open and a proportionally giant spawn could be seen nestling in the crevice! "It's a girl," the seller lady helpfully pointed out. LIKE IT MATTERED. Ignoring the twitches of my decade-plus-old C-section scars, I nodded and grinned like Fake Ken must have done when he planted his seed into the fake hole, and bargained down to a price that wouldn't leave me thoroughly wanting to kill myself for doing this in the first place. And off I went with my Happily Family box.

So here are the pictures. Of course I googled "pregnant Barbie" to see if the real one ever did get knocked up. Those fucking cowards at Mattel. Yes, they did release a pregnant doll but noooo, it wasn't Barbie herself but her slightly less attractive friend Midge (Midge!), who at times could be bought in a single pack--without being a Happily Family item! What, Ken didn't have a slightly less attractive friend to be the baby daddy? The funnest part was reading the outraged reviews of some grown women on Amazon (whine, whine, whine, why couldn't pregnant Midge have come with a wedding ring?).

It was such a good day. I was happily.

giggle, giggle, tee hee!

When I get utterly bored, I make the baby breech. Yeah, I'm bitchy like that.